The hardest goodbye of all

On Sunday 12th of November my dear Mother Sue Millar was out walking with friends in her beloved Lake District when she fell and sustained injuries that caused a heart attack and organ failure. She was airlifted to Preston hospital where she died very early on Tuesday morning.

My brother and I are devastated. The week before she died we were enjoying a wonderful week at my home in Somerset. Mum was a picture of health and we all had so much to look forward to – exciting things were on the horizon. I am finding it very hard to come to terms with, I’ve lost my best friend as well as my Mother and I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to get through this. The photo of her was taken the day before she died, it was much too early for her to go.

In May 2015 we lost my Father and January of this year my Granny, the magnitude of this loss is almost too much to bear.

If anyone out there is reading this and has experienced loss of this scale (or any scale really) I’d love to hear from you. I will be blogging about my journey in an attempt to reach out to others and move through my grief. I think it’s important that we speak about death and loss and connect through it, as it is so repressed in our culture.

Please do get in touch if you are able.

With love and light

Clare xxx

My brother Graham, Mum and I in my local pub in Somerset the week before she died

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your dear mother .sue Miller………..I follow your eat for Victory Approach……. This must be a very sad time for you but hopefully in time you will heal and look back and remember your wonderful mum …who taught you the values you have now…smile at all the good advice she gave and the love she gave you….It will take time….but you will get there…… remember she is still with you in all you do and she will be very proud. Thinking of you sally

  2. Hi Clare,
    I was really sorry to hear about your mum.
    I know you think you will never be the same again but things do get better with time.
    My sister sadly had breast cancer and died at the young age of 47 leaving 2 young children. This was very hard time for our family .
    While we were at her funeral in Scotland my fit and healthy father complained of not feeling too well. I had to come back down south so left him in Scotland with my mum giving him a quick peck on the cheek expecting to see him again soon. As soon as I got home I had a call from mum saying he had been taken to hospital. I traveled back up to Scotland to give my mum some support, thinking dad would be up and about again soon. He never regained consciousness. We were all devastated and just couldn’t believe this was really happening
    I know how it is to feel like you are in a dream and you are going to wake up and everything is fine. I still feel like he is going to walk around the corner alive and well and this all happened 10 years ago.
    Time does heal, just remember all the great times you had together.

    1. Dear Tracy thanks you so much for sharing your personal journey of grief with me and what a journey it’s been for you. I am sad to hear about your losses. Thank you for your comments and kindness. I will be starting a blog soon where we can chat about some of these things in more detail. It would be so lovely to have your presence there if it’s something you would like to do. I can let you know when it’s live if you would like. Love and hugs Clarex

  3. So sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my dad to Alzheimer’s in October 2014. Watching his quick decline actually broke my heart. My only way of coping is to not think about him. Sad, I know but what can I do?
    Thinking of you as you begin this journey. After three years, I thought it would get easier but it doesn’t really. This October, I lost my little two year old cat and I’m devastated all over again.

    1. Dear Gillian thank you for your comments. I am very sorry to hear about the death of your father and to hear that you find it so hard to go there with your memories of him. I am going to start an area on my website by way of support for those of us going through the grieving process. On it you will be able to post your comments and there will be recipes that I have used to help support myself during this time. Do please check into that. With love and hugs x

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