Christmas is Tough and I’m Thinking of You

Today is Christmas Eve and I feel numb, none of it makes any sense to me, not that it did particularly before, but it makes even less sense when your family members are missing. Outside the world is light and fluffy – people doing last minute Christmas shopping, laughing, being together, overflowing with love. I just got back from town and burst into tears. I miss my Mummy SO much, it hurts, it’s quiet, deathly quiet and she is nowhere to be seen.

I know I’m not alone, please know you are not alone either. I want to wrap you in my arms and hug you, whoever you are. You could make yourself known so I can send it directly if you like.

I’m thinking of you and sending love x

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Hello Clare,

    I thought I’d reach out as I found this post very helpful, and to send you massive hugs. I’ve been dealing with my Fathers declining health due to Cancer and with only a few months to live, this Christmas has been very..different, for me (that’s the only way I can put it) I met you once in Greenlife, Totnes, and we chatted about nutrition. Your Mum would be very proud of how you are coping and she is always with you. Sending you lot’s of Love and Blessings <3

    1. Dear Sarah-Jane thank you so much for getting in touch. I do remember you and our chat – you are a beautiful lady with many gifts for the world. I am so sorry to hear about your father’s declining health, I am sending that big warm hug out to you right now. Please be held in this space knowing that you are not alone and that it’s ok to fall apart or do or be whatever you are in each moment. Your Dad is blessed to have you as his daughter and guide. I was with both of my parents when they died, it was a great honour as much as it was unbelievably sad. I know you have the strength to go there too if you chose. I am with you. Clare x

      1. Thank you so much Clare, I gained strength from your comment. I’ve felt all over the place, angry, sad, judgemental, numb and even have had times of happiness in which I’ve wondered how on earth that could be! I surprise myself with how much I seem to accept where I am in every moment as I’m only 32 and it’s the first time dealing with death, but Next week I start my journey of volunteering at the cancer research shop in Totnes and feel it’s something I’m meant to do. How amazing you are Clare that you have been as strong as you have been through this Christmas holiday <3 Your dear Mum would be very very proud indeed. Big love to you xox ps your blog and website is fab!! 🙂

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