The words of Gandhi are frequently echoed across the globe but what does this statement mean and how on earth can we make it happen?
In all honesty these words have only started to make sense to me in the last couple of years. I couldn’t see how changing myself was going to make the world a better place, I mean there’s only one of me and a gazzilion of everyone else, so there’s no point trying right? …..wrong!
What I have discovered is that the world we experience outside is directly related to the one we experience inside and if we feel depressed and angry, the world around us will appear bleak and annoying. Conversely if we feel deeply connected to ourselves and coming from a place of self love, the world will seem joyful and loving and we find ourselves in more of a ‘flow’.
As we start a new year it’s all very well to have goals and targets around what we want to change about our appearance and lives, but that’s not going to mean anything if underneath it all we are disconnected from ourselves and acting from a place of fear rather than self love.
If looking and feeling great was as easy as eating the right food then why aren’t we all eating the right food and looking and feeling great?!
The answer my friends is self abandonment. We seek ways of numbing down or avoiding pain and emotions instead of feeling them because we get scared that if we experience them we might get stuck, or even die. The irony is you are more likely to get stuck in suffering by not experiencing the attached emotions. Oh and reaching for sugar and alcohol will only exacerbate the suffering because they actually cause depression! Now there’s a vicious cycle if ever I saw one.
So how do we address what is at the root of this self abandonment business?
I’d like to introduce a wonderful lady called Margaret Paul who has helped me immensely on my own journey of self love. She has created an approach called ‘Inner Bonding’ which is a powerful tool to heal the wounded part of ourselves that keeps us in the suffering state and prevents us from being and doing all the wonderful things we actually are.
Inner bonding and self abandonment are too big to write about in one blog and I’ll be coming back to them over the year ahead but in a nutshell Inner Bonding is a process that heals the wounded self by reparenting the inner child within us. It’s the ‘mini me’ who initially felt the abandonment, so it’s about really nurturing and listening to that part of ourself that desperately wants to be heard and subsequently healed. It is very common for folk to silence that inner voice with sugar, alcohol, carbs and ‘comfort foods’ because they bring immediate gratification which over rides the discomfort. However be warned it’s only temporary and the feelings will just keep coming back until you give them your full attention.
The great thing about inner bonding is that you can start the process right now yourself and it costs very little (although I do very much recommend Margaret’s book Inner Bonding.
Here’s a blog post of Margaret’s to whet your appetite and give you a taste of the process. I love what she has to say about New Year’s resolutions.
So as we go into 2018 why not be the change you want to see in the world?
…..your world might just be a better place for it.