Today’s blog is about death. Cue comments such as “you’re a bundle of joy of a Saturday” and “what a morbid subject for a blog”
Well I want to talk about it because it’s about time, in my opinion, we made the subject of death a coffee table conversation and stopped brushing it under the carpet in our ‘frightfully British’ manner.
My Dad died in May 2015, my friend died in March 2016 and my Granny died in December 2016 – death, of late, has become very real thing for me. I’d gone for 42 years without experiencing a funeral, I never had any kind of exposure to death (give or take a hamster or 2) until my Dad died a year and a half ago – suddenly it was coming at me from all angles.
Subsequently I developed a lot of fear surrounding death and loss. I’ve been triggered at the slightest thing, paranoid about the threat of more loss in my life.
It’s a result of my fear of death that I stopped living.
Something had to happen and what happened was 3 angels turned up in my life at exactly the time I needed them (it is a blessing the way the universe provides like that);
- Angel number 1 Lucy Aykroyd End of Life Doula and Massage Therapist who I met in a cafe in Somerset a couple of months ago and have become wonderful friends with since.
- Angels number 2 and 3 Mike Grenville (Dying Doula) and Celia Liberia (Soul Midwife) from Sacred Transitions who hosted our monthly Sustainable Frome meet up group on the subject of death and made it so incredibly accessible it was as if it was sitting next to me holding my hand
Thanks to these beautiful souls, death has became a subject I could access and talk about; it was resurrected from the depths of the underlay and placed delicately and sacredly on the table in front of me, enabling me to, quite simply, talk about it.
Our lives are laced with the fear of death thanks to advertising, anti-ageing beauty products (grrr one of my pet hates), the media and politics and the only way we can transcend it is to connect with it and get up close and personal and make friends with our fear. Only by doing that can we dissolve the fear and truly live the joyful lives we are meant for.
Right on cue (Angel number 4) Hollywood comes up trumps (excuse the pun) with the recent movie ‘Collateral Beauty’ a beautiful and original tale of one man’s experience of death through the loss of his child. What makes this film even more poignant than the bitter sweet narrative is that the father of Will Smith (who plays the lead) was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the time he got the part. I recently heard a touching interview with Will Smith where he revealed that the part provided him with the opportunity to explore his feelings relating to the decline and subsequent loss of his father. It was a blessing.
We need more exposure to death in our culture enabling us to explore, communicate and connect with our fears.. It is only then, I believe, that we are truly able to transcend them and liberate ourselves and connect on a deeper level with life and fellow beings.
I have had 2 transformative chat sessions with Celia recently which involved just sitting together and talking about death, fear, loss and life. What I have found is that in allowing myself to fully go there and explore my fear of death, I have begun to live more. Tis a wonderful and beautiful thing.
Celia and Mike are hosting an event in Frome on Wednesday 8th February called ‘Dying to Talk’ why not go along and find out more for yourself?
Love and light